“Five Years Retired, Five Lessons Learned:" A Retirement After-Action Report
By Lieutenant (Ret.) Patrick G. Aigner, Prince William County (VA) Police Department
On September 1, 2020, I retired from the Prince William County Police Department after twenty-five years of service. My wife and I relocated to Little River, South Carolina, and began our next chapter of life near the beach, our favorite place. We had planned for many aspects of our retirement and believed we had done our due diligence in all ways possible. The following are lessons I/we have learned from and in some cases, may have done differently if we had the opportunity. A few others are merely things to consider as you approach your own retirement.
1) Enjoy Your Last Year
My last assignment was as a Watch Commander in patrol, a position I enjoyed very much and one I felt like I made the greatest impact professionally. In that role, I had three subordinate supervisors and an outstanding group of officers. I was responsible for management of major scenes as well as oversight of the squad's operation; however, the sergeants were tasked with the day to day management. Absent any major problems, I was able to spend a good deal of my last year providing career-related guidance from what I learned over the many years to the younger officers. I encourage all of you to take advantage of opportunities to leave a lasting, positive impact. Those you engage with helpful advice and words of encouragement are the agency’s next generation and could greatly benefit from it. Unfortunately, we all know officers/deputies who most likely stayed too long and left disgruntled. You have acquired a wealth of knowledge and experience through many years and chaotic situations. Do the agency and yourself a positive service and pass along the very best of what you have gained through the course of your career.
Most agencies do some sort of an “Exit Interview”; where you meet with either someone affiliated with human resources and/or in your chain of command to discuss feedback you have about the agency. When I had mine, I was fortunate to have met with a friend I had known for almost my entire career who was the acting chief of police at the time. No agency in law enforcement is perfect and, in my opinion, the Prince William County Police Department was no different. However, I felt the department did it better than most, most of the time. I always felt honored and privileged to serve the local community with a department that I hold in the highest regard. The two of us met for a few hours about my thoughts on a myriad of topics and the feedback I provided was entirely positive. I had a very short list of items that I thought could be improved upon, the reasons for them, and suggestions on how to address those issues. For example, staffing issues have hit every law enforcement agency and I spoke to that challenge. With the limited resources and an increase in attrition, I suggested the possibility of having a police executive from another agency come in and review how the Prince William County Police Department allocates staff throughout the agency. Once the review was completed, they could make recommendations to the executive staff which the department could use fully, partially, or not at all.
There is no question each of you have gained an enormous amount of experience during your time with your respective departments. Prepare for the exit interview with the same dedication and commitment you exemplified over the course of your career. Make thoughtful comments/recommendations, suggestions with ways to accomplish them, and the desired outcomes. It's easy to use excuses like, “They (the agency) will never do it” or “I’m sure someone else already suggested that.” Maybe you are right; however, maybe the right leadership wasn’t in place to effect the positive change(s) you recommended. How will you know if you don’t try??
Personally and professionally I have always endeavored to leave a place better than I found it. A few years ago I discovered that was the loose translation of the “Athenian Oath”, a commitment citizens of Athens, Greece, made many centuries ago to do their part to improve the lives of all. By your commitment and dedication to your agency and those you served, every public servant has done their part!
Finally, if it is right for you, have a retirement party! One of my sergeants came to me several months out and asked if they could put one together for me. With input from my wife and me, they did a fantastic job and we had an amazing time with wonderful friends. You spent many years and made some lifelong friendships, please remember that the party is a celebration, not a wake!! Enjoy the moment, eat delicious food, have good drinks, tell fun stories, and toast a great career in law enforcement.
2) Don’t Be in a Hurry to Relocate
As I previously mentioned, my wife and I thought we had planned fairly well for the transition into retirement life. Several months prior to our last day of work, we purchased a home in South Carolina with the plan to relocate immediately after I left the police department. We had been to the area on vacation, it was close to the beach, and it was a much lower cost of living than Northern Virginia. We really felt like the new home was going to offer what we were seeking in the next chapter of life.
Obviously buying a home is a major investment. We were excited and wanted to make Little River, South Carolina, our home for a long time. What we found over the last five years is there is a major difference between vacationing and living in the greater Myrtle Beach area! On a daily basis, you notice things that you most likely would not if you were here for a week vacationing. Although that may be true of just about anywhere, it behooves you to not be in as much of a hurry to pick up and go immediately. It is easy to get into the mindset of, “We are retired now; time to go!” Additionally, you may feel like you researched everything there is to know about the location you wish to relocate to. Why not rent for a period of time instead? You can take the time to experience the area, without the long-term commitment of buying. Without the distractions of work, you can truly see what day to day life is like, talk to people that live there, experience what things like traffic are like at all times of the year, etc.
If you do choose to relocate upon retirement, consider your pension goes wherever you do and realize you can always move again if the first place is not the right fit!
3) You Need Your Family and Close Friends
Truthfully, we had an inflated vision of the number of visitors we would get after we moved. After all, we were close to the beach and in a tourist “hot spot.”
The two major things we did not take into account were:
- We moved far from our closest friends and family.
- There is a difference between true friends and “friends of proximity.”
At any age, your most reliable and committed “support network” is your closest friends and family. They have been and hopefully will always be there. In our case, we spent decades in the Northern Virginia area and were fortunate to have made some lifelong friends. Also, many of our family members either lived in the same region or within reasonable driving distance. In South Carolina, we were over four hundred miles away from our closest people; which has been a challenge on a daily basis, much less when an emergency arises. Spontaneous day trips are no longer feasible. Additionally, we have lost family members unexpectedly over the past five years and had to leave to assist in the immediate aftermath of their passing. You do what you need to in the moment but you come to realize it will take, at minimum, several hours to get there. We just feel like we are somewhat isolated from the people we care for the most. Perhaps we might have made a different choice of if/where to relocate had we been more methodical about the moving process.
When you work in a field such as law enforcement, you appreciate the bond you form with your sisters and brothers in the profession. I made many friends over the course of my career and have a few that are as close as “family.” In retirement, what I discovered was there is a big difference between a “friend of proximity” and a true friend. I found I overestimated how close some coworker friends actually were in the grand scheme. Immediately after I left the police department, I would attempt to communicate with those who were still there as frequently as I did when I was working, even extending an invitation to visit. Over time, I realized I was doing most (or all) of the outreaches and the work friends did not take me up on the visit offers. There are a few obvious reasons that may explain it:
- They are still working in most cases and have their own lives with multiple important demands for their time.
- You were friends because you shared common work-related interests and challenges, but lacked the true foundation of being good friends.
- The lifelong friends you met through work care more deeply for you and your family, you talk about non-work related things, and you found time to get together when you weren’t working.
Although it may sound direct, my wife helped me understand the situation by suggesting, “If people wanted to, they would.” People that fall into this type of a friendship group are still friends; just not close ones, and that’s OK.
4) Continue to Take Charge of Your Life
Your wellness is a critical part of your life especially in retirement. Live in a manner to ensure the highest quality of daily life you can. Obvious ways to do this are to incorporate a physical fitness routine, keep up to date with checkups (medical, dental, vision, dermatologist, etc.), and stay involved with your community through volunteering or other forms of engagement.
There is no such thing as a “bump free” life and there is also a good chance you and/or close family members will have a medical crisis. Even if you are vigilant with your routine checkups you may develop a serious illness. The ability to catch a cancer diagnosis or other major illness at the earliest possible stage allows for the most options and the best chance of a successful treatment protocol. You owe that to those who love you and yourself.
In many years of being in law enforcement, we have all been exposed to hazardous materials that may cause issues as we go through the latter part of our lives. When a medical or other challenge does occur, take it on with the same positive approach as you did on your best day of work! The investment you make in your fitness, commitment to annual checkups, and an overall healthy lifestyle cannot be understated in its importance.
5) “It’s Only Time on the Road”
There is not a day that goes by where I am not grateful for the opportunity to serve as a member of the Prince William County Police Department and the ability to retire at such a relatively young age. There were many times during the course of my career I could not attend important family events because of work commitments. Being in law enforcement you truly are the epitome of “essential personnel” and at times I missed games, dinners, and the like because I was working.
You do not have to be the “missing one” anymore! Do not let a long drive or other reasonable challenges stop you from being at those gatherings you always wanted to attend but couldn’t in the past. From this point, be the person who finds a way to get there because it is important! Although you are not able to make up for some of those lost opportunities, you can control what happens moving forward. Show those how much you care by giving the most valuable part of you, your time and attention. My wife and I have been there when it has mattered regardless of the distance because, “It’s only time on the road.”
Final Thoughts
Most of my thoughts/lessons learned were a result of our life after retirement. We are blessed to have made lots of memories through travel and other amazing experiences. However, please do yourselves a favor and do not pass on wonderful opportunities in life with the excuse that you will do it all after you retire. Every day is another opportunity for a great day, no matter if you are still working or not. Live your best life, let those around you know how much you value and care about them, and be a positive influence on others.